What Your Kids Aren’t Telling You: Talking About Emotions

One of the most important things you can do with your kids is to talk about emotions. When they’re little, it might be easier because all children are emotional creatures and will have a lot to say on the subject. But when they get older and their feelings become more complicated, these conversations may seem too difficult or awkward for them – so don’t drop this habit! And as parents we need those talks just as much as our kids. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by strong emotion that makes us want to lash out at someone else, but understanding what we’re feeling first allows us not only control over ourselves better than if we did react hastily in anger (which would likely make things worse) but also gives another person the opportunity to understand the behavior.

And if anyone deserves the opportunity to understand, it’s our kids.

As parents we need those talks just as much as our kids. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by strong emotion that makes us want to lash out at someone else, but understanding what we’re feeling first allows us not only control over ourselves better than if we did react hastily in anger (which would likely make things worse) but also gives another person the opportunity to understand the behavior. And if anyone deserves the opportunity to understand, it’s our kids.

So how can you start meaningful conversations with your children? Charlie Eissa offers a few ways:

– Start simply and use everyday words – for example “I’m worried about my job” or “It has been really hard this week

– Ask your child what words they would use to describe how they feel – for example “What is it like when you’re feeling worried?

– Tell them stories about people who are in a similar situation. Use the pronoun ‘they’ so that kids won’t be able to identify with any one person too closely, and then share some of their feelings as well as how others react or helped out. This will make children more aware of those around us who might need support.

Kids want reassurance from time to time, but also want parents to know not everything can be fixed just by talking through an issue together.